The Big C

Yeah...that big C word has reared its ugly head again. I guess we've all been waiting very anxiously for that word to be on the table again. Now that his stomach is closed and he's gaining strength...well...the cancer treatment is back in the discussions.

Thursday was a day of ups and downs and a lot of emotional frustration. First, they couldn't remove the trach because he still requires some oxygen at night. They knew that though! So why take him down to the ICU to remove it and then decide not to take it out??

Then, the oncologist FINALLY called a meeting with Michelle to show her the tumor. The picture was every bit as scary and every bit as big and dangerous looking as we had imagined. Like the doctors at Mt. Clemens had said, it is big and it's all the way up the back of his abdomen and touching all of his organs, as well as some very sensitive glands. This is the reason it cannot be removed surgically. It would be certain death if they were to hit one of these particular glands that it's sitting on.

But then, a glimmer of hope in the conversation...the tumor looked to be mature...non cancerous. Something he would just have to get used to living with...something his body would adjust to, but cancer free! Cancer free? Really? As Michelle left the meeting and tried to digest all that the doctors were saying she started to have questions. She was trying to reconcile this information with the fact that Tyler's pain is high and he has continued nausea and exhaustion just like he had back in September:

• What will his life be like with this tumor?
• What about the pain? Will he be on these methadone pain killers his whole life?
• Will this tumor ever be able to be removed or partially removed?
• Will his stomach work properly again or will they go home with all of these drains and tubes?

As she thought of these questions and waited for the oncologist to come back, they continued to sit in the ICU waiting to go back to the Rehabilitation floor. What was the hold up? Why weren't they moving him back up there since they weren't doing the trach removal?

Then a different oncologist came in, just hours after the other was reassuring her that Tyler was cancer free, with this news...blood work is back and the cancer markers are all up...they are very concerned about his lymph node on his neck that has been swollen! He still has cancer and it's active! Ugh! So, the other C word...chemo therapy...is now needed immediately! Talk about a roller coaster ride of a day.

From hope back to devastation!

Needless to say, after all of the miscommunication and non thorough doctors, Michelle and Tyler are left frustrated and having a hard time trusting the doctors at all. But, they are at the mercy of their plans. So, Tyler has now been moved to the cancer floor and is starting chemo tomorrow. It will be the same chemo that he first started back on Oct 1st.

Here's how you can be praying for Tyler, pray that:

• The doctors will have wisdom and unity and will present thorough plans with clear communication
• Tyler will not have such a sever reaction to the chemo this time around (you can imagine he's scared after what happened the first time)
• Continued strength - Tyler needs physical strength to fight this brutal disease and the chemo's side effects
• Emotional strength for all of us that love this boy so much! The exhaustion is taking over, the emotions are high and we need renewed strength...especially his momma!
• That the chemo will do its job and shrink this tumor and kill this cancer - and in the meantime his major organs (currently concerned about his liver and kidneys) will be protected and not impacted by this nasty tumor!
• That Tyler will be completely healed and restored!!