His Love

Easter was different this year...as was Tyler's birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Why are the holidays harder days? Is it because of the tradition of gathering together reminds you even more of the ones that aren't with you? I don't know. My heart was hurting though. I was smiling and talking, but the tears were just beneath the surface. I know I wasn't the only one. We were missing Tyler and Michelle at our dinner table.

These are the faces that have been present since Tyler was born. Well, even before that, I guess. We're a tight knit family, if you haven't noticed. One that actually enjoys being around each other and looks forward to spending time together. We've been through some tough things, but never anything like this.

We've watched this boy since he was a baby...changed his diapers, played matchbox cars with him, took him to his football games, did his homework with him, took him on rounds at that Coney, got him his first job, became his work out partners, threw the football around the yard, bought him his first car, met his first girlfriend, celebrated his graduation last summer, gathered with him during his diagnosis this fall, sat in on  family meetings with doctors...and now, we've all spent as much time as possible at his and Michelle's side in the hospital. Did you know Michelle and Tyler haven't spent a night alone since he has been in the hospital? Here's a glimpse into the schedule:
Sunday= Aunt Patty
Monday & Tuesday = Grandma Didi and Papa Bill
Wednesday = Aunt Cindy
Thursday = Aunt Juanita
Friday = Aunt Cheri
Saturday = Aunt Tammy
Backups = Aunt Jettie and Aunt Karen

That's pretty astounding, right?! We're thankful for supportive spouses and children while we put other members of the family first during these times. There are others that are regular visitors too...people who drive an hour or more to come see Michelle and Tyler...bring a meal or a treat, or, just sit and listen. We're thankful for them too. I would list them, but I'm bound to leave someone off and it's not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings.

So, to get to my point, on Easter, I sat down next to my Aunt Didi (Tyler's Grandma) and she asked how I was and I did the polite thing by saying "okay"...not a lie but not the whole truth because the truth would bring me to tears. Then I said, "and you?". She answered more honestly than me, she said, "I'm not okay. I'm horrible". As tears were streaming down both our faces she said, "I just keep reminding myself that God loves him more than I do! He loves all of us more than we know!" Sorrowful, but profound words.

His love is greater than ours. As much as we have given Tyler and Michelle, it is nothing in comparison to His love for us. That He would sacrifice His only Son to reconcile us to the Father. I hope our love has shown them a glimpse of what His love is for them.

I heard this song this morning and I can't think of any words more appropriate. I dedicate this song to Michelle, but also to the rest of us that are hurting right now - may we listen for Him and know and feel His love, even in this pain. You are not alone, Michelle. We are here, and more importantly, God is here and His love will see us through.

Another sleepless night
She's looking up and crying out
He's just a little child
Can you stop his hurting now

It's so quiet
But she hears in the silence

His arms are holding you
His love will see you through
When you smile and you laugh but you're fakin'
Cause you don't know how you're gonna make it
You feel so much pain
And you can't see your way
You're not alone
You're not alone

She's tryna' plan ahead
Unsure about the time left
Can't let these moments pass
Instead she'll treasure what she has

And when it's quiet
But she hears in the silence

His arms are holding you
His love will see you through
When you smile and you laugh but you're fakin'
Cause you don't know how you're gonna make it
You feel so much pain
And you can't see your way
You're not alone
You're not alone
Alone

His arms are holding you
His love will see you through
When you try not to cry but to take it
All the stress, and the hurt and heartache
You may feel pain
But not as great as His name
You're not alone
No you're not alone